Distraction

I did find out today that my hours were cut, but only by 2 hours a week. The only thing significant about that is going from 32 to 30 hours a week drops me to a part-time employee and I no longer accrue leave time, which really sucks considering I work 6 days a week. The way things are going economically these days in this country, and even worse in the state of Michigan. ...I consider myself blessed to have a job. I am also truly blessed to be able to work from home. So enough said about that.


Today marks 6 weeks since Joy's birth. I wonder if that day will ever come when I don't know how long its been and I have to actually think about it? Knowing myself the way I do I would say...that day will probably never come.


It seems I haven't had a blog entry of substance lately and I would have to blame that on work. Now I understand when some people are going through a difficult time and they throw themselves into their work as a distraction to what they are facing. Honestly, in the 5 weeks I had off after Joy's birth I never once felt like I wanted to work as a distraction from my grief. Just the opposite really. I wanted to feel everything as fully as I could. Nevertheless, being back to work has served as a distraction this past week. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. This is probably why I was not very eager to get back to "normal." In my mind I don't want to get back to "normal," but the reality is that "normal" happens anyway. Life is going to go on with or without me. The kids are still going to get up around 7:30am, they still require to be fed, clothed, bathed and disciplined. I could go on about all the other things that require my attention, but you get the point. It feels a bit like life is dragging me around by the arm while I'm trying to dig my heels in.