Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Seven Months

Seven months...
Sometimes I think I'm the only one who remembers every month on the 15th marks another month since Joy went to be with Jesus. Fewer and fewer people mention her name.
I guess the truth is that for me Sept. 15th doesn't mark the saddest day. There were many before then. Really, May of 2008 was full of bad days. I hate that Elijah's 5th birthday, coming up on May 2, will mark one year since we got our devastating news that something was seriously wrong with our baby. May 5th when it was confirmed by the "specialists" and May 20th when we got the official diagnosis...limb-body wall complex...."incompatible with life." Funny thing is... that little life that was so "incompatible with life" is having the most abundant life right now in heaven.

Joy wasn't designed for life here on earth. For the pain and sorrow that this life brings. She was designed to bypass all this. I love the scripture in Psalm 139 when it says "He knit me together in my mother's womb." When carrying Joy I often thought "why couldn't He have knit her little body together properly so it could work the way it is supposed to." I'm only just now figuring out that He knit her together exactly according to His plan. That thought doesn't take all the grief away and doesn't always make it easier, because in my human selfishness I want her here with me. To all of us it seems like such a travesty, but I'm pretty sure if we could ask Joy if she would rather be living here on earth I bet her answer would be "no way!" It's hard to stay sad for long when I know how happy she has got to be in heaven.

Psalm 139:13-16
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Back Home

Boy, I really am bad at keeping you all updated. I'm way overdue to update on Elijah. He is doing much better. He ended up staying 2 nights in the hospital. They pretty much determined that he had a febrile seizure and his chest x-ray showed the beginning stages of pneumonia. He is just about finished his antibiotics and seems to be back to normal. I seem to have contracted his nasty bug and am hoping to be feeling better by the week's end. It's been rough.

If you ask Elijah he thought it was pretty cool staying in the hospital. He liked to order his meals and watch movies. In fact he said it was like a vacation? Wow, what does that say about our regular life if he thinks that was a vacation???