Sometimes I think I'm the only one who remembers every month on the 15th marks another month since Joy went to be with Jesus. Fewer and fewer people mention her name.
I guess the truth is that for me Sept. 15th doesn't mark the saddest day. There were many before then. Really, May of 2008 was full of bad days. I hate that Elijah's 5th birthday, coming up on May 2, will mark one year since we got our devastating news that something was seriously wrong with our baby. May 5th when it was confirmed by the "specialists" and May 20th when we got the official diagnosis...limb-body wall complex...."incompatible with life." Funny thing is... that little life that was so "incompatible with life" is having the most abundant life right now in heaven.
Joy wasn't designed for life here on earth. For the pain and sorrow that this life brings. She was designed to bypass all this. I love the scripture in Psalm 139 when it says "He knit me together in my mother's womb." When carrying Joy I often thought "why couldn't He have knit her little body together properly so it could work the way it is supposed to." I'm only just now figuring out that He knit her together exactly according to His plan. That thought doesn't take all the grief away and doesn't always make it easier, because in my human selfishness I want her here with me. To all of us it seems like such a travesty, but I'm pretty sure if we could ask Joy if she would rather be living here on earth I bet her answer would be "no way!" It's hard to stay sad for long when I know how happy she has got to be in heaven.
Psalm 139:13-16
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
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3 comments:
I'm remembering Joy with you today. What a cutie she IS - bet you're wondering what she looks like right now in Heaven. I don't know why it is, but I never picture Felicity as a baby in Heaven - she's always a little girl, probably three- four years old. I picture Joy that way too today - twirling around in a field of beautiful flowers with Felicity and a bunch of other little kids. There's tons of laughter and giggles as they fall over, dizzy and breathless, to stare up at the sky and see the Light that is their Creator shining down on them, bathing them in warmth and love. I can't wait to joy them in that field and spin in circles and scoop up my little girl and spin her in my arms. It's a beautiful thought, so much so that it takes my breath away.
There will be a day. . . I can only imagine!
Amen, I've come to a similar conclusion about Heaven being my son's forever home. It makes me smile to think of what he might be experiencing. An abundant life for sure. Someday we will join them in that abundant life and in that perfect place.
I am so moved by your story. So glad that I found your blog.
I am still new to the land of blog, but so loving reading others stories.
Everyone has a story and so many of them are so touching....
Hope you will stop by for a visit.
The May give-away has started and this month there will be 10 winners.
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