Faith

Ironically enough...or not ironically at all (depending on your point of view) the sermons at church have been focusing on faith the last several weeks. God has pretty amazing timing doesn't He? He knows just what we need to hear and when we need it.

I've always liked to think that I've had pretty good faith. It's funny how much you start to question somethings when you are placed in a situation that stretches your faith farther than you ever thought you would have to. It kinda goes without saying that I am praying for a miracle, but do I have faith to belive that it will happen...that my baby will be whole? I believe He can do the impossible and this would be one of those impossible situations. Why does it seem so much harder to believe for the miracle when you are the one faced with the mountain that needs moving?

For many weeks now I've been foolishly asking the questions...Do my prayers make any difference? I mean....God already knows what is going to happen and how the situation will play out.....so what are my meager prayers going to do? Are they going to make Him change His mind, will they urge Him to act, will they help facilitate the miracle I'm praying for? To say this and question does not mean that I have given up hope or praying for that matter. But perhaps in doing so I have lacked the faith that God will come through?

I was reading my Bible the other day and came across one of those helpful littel indexes where they delve a little deeper. The title was "Can our prayers cause God to change his mind?
Bingo...this is the very thing I've been questioning. Again, God has great timing! It read as follows: "God's will is dynamic. As with any interpersonal relationship, God's relationship with humanity involves give and take. God accomodates his responses to ours; we adjust our responses to God's. So it can be said on this level, God sometimes changes his mind in response to our prayers. We might compare the relationship between God, his will and his people to a chess match between a novice player and a master. The novice can make any move he chooses and the master will respond accordingly. But the master will always be in control of the game. There was also examples given in the Bible where God did change his mind.

All this has lead me to a place where as the pastor would say "taking our faith to the next level." He mentions different types of faith and one of them was courageous faith. The kind of faith that people will look at you and think you are crazy. To believe the impossible and speak it! I've been starting to thank God for Joy's healing...not just praying for it, but speaking it. Am I crazy? Maybe so, but I think it's worth the risk. Even if things do not turn out the way I am believing will I be let down? Perhaps on some level, but in reality no. I'll grieve...obvioulsy...God is who He is and I've never doubted His control. Ultimately He knows the plans He has for Joy. Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. One way or another my Joy will be complete.

On that last note ...when reading scripture I was looking up every verse that had the word Joy in it. I came across a verse that spoke to my heart and grabbed me. John 15:11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. Intially, I looked at that verse only one way. In my grief I completely took it out of context wanting my Joy, my baby to be complete. That could have been part of what I was supposed to get out of that word, but now to me it has dual meaning. The bigger picture is about my joy being complete. Have I lost you yet?

I know I sought to figure out what it meant to choose joy, but I guess one needs to question what exactly is joy? Again, those helpful Bible indexes are great tools. Mine says "Joy includes a condition of genuine well-being, marked by confidence, hope and trust that extends far beyond our own infinite perceptions. Happiness is often temporary; joy is more of a process, often developed most profoundly during periods of chaos and suffering. The deep, sustaining joy of the Lord comes from an assurance that he is with us and will deliver us--from present difficulties as well as from this scarred and stained world. Such joy is able to express its hope, even in the middle of legitimate sadness.

Still choosing joy over here despite my grief...maybe now in light of the last paragraph that doesn't sound as double-minded as I first thought?