The Name of my Blog is Really Holding me Accountable

Having my blog named "Choose Joy" has been hard to live up to this week. I was told on a phone call by my boss Tues. night that my job is being eliminated as of Jan.9, 2009. It is really just the last blow in a series of work related issues that have come since I started back to work after Joy's death. I haven't written about all of it. I let you guys know about the first cut in hours I got, but then a couple weeks later my hours were cut by another 4 per week, then I was told they were cashing out my leave because I was no longer full-time....and now this. I can't say that I am totally surprised as the company I work for has been struggling like a lot of other companies in this difficult economy. Regardless, it's still a bit of a tough pill to swallow. I have been with this company for 10 years as of Jan. 7, 2009. Ironically two days before my last day of work.



I'm sooooo glad I do not find my identity of who I am in my work. It is so much more fulfilling to find my identity and value in Jesus and who He says I am. It is also much more fulfilling to me to find more value in being a mother to my kids and wife to my husband. Those are the things that bring me the most happiness. Unfortunately in the world of work, as much as you think you might be valued or valuable, you are always expendable and replaceable. I'm so glad the creator of the universe doesn't view me this way.



With all that said...one still has to make a living. I feel like my bachelor's degree is no longer serving me well in this day and age with the economy the way it is. Not to mention there are few jobs in my area. Soooooo, I am going to be taking classes starting next month to try and get into the nursing program at the local community college. The truth is I was registered to take classes this past summer, but with everything that was happening with Joy I did not feel I could really focus on school. It's been a few years since I have been a student...ummmmm over 11 years!! It is a little scary to me, but I'm looking forward to the change.



One door closes, another one opens. ...right? My job being eliminated is kind of a blessing I suppose. I was at a point where I was no longer enjoying it. You know, surprisingly I don't have much anxiety about the loss of income as I know God is faithful to provide. There's that crazy thing called "peace" again. It keeps showing up when I need it the most.


The real unfortunate part in all of this is that the timing could not possibly be worse. Losing Joy has really made me feel less capable of handling other stresses that come along. I know it won't always be like that, but since this has happened so close together it's hard for me at times.

So on the topic of joy, not my baby Joy, but joy. My pastor said a very profound thing last Sunday about joy. It was simple, but profound and so I had to write it down. "I have joy because I see the situation from God's perspective, not my own." That is so true! When I get caught up in feeling sorry for myself because my child died, or because I'm about to lose my job it is hard to find the joy. When I try and see it all from God's perspective,even though I don't know what his plan is, I can have joy knowing that he is in control and he's got my back. At this point I'm almost excited to see what he has in store for me. I'm anticipating good things. Honestly, it took me a few days to get to this point. I can't lie to you.

Please pray for me to stay strong in this peace, joy, and hope that I have. It doesn't always come easy. I have to pray and fight for it daily.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.